My
husband has served our country for 21 1/2 years in the Navy, Navy Reserves, and
Army Reserves. We have been married for 21 years this year (2013), and we have
been friends since high school.
I have
been advocating for my husband since 2007 when he returned from a deployment to
Africa in support of OEF. Prior to this deployment, he served two tours in the
first Gulf War on the flight deck of the USS Saipan (amphibious assault ship)
and again in Bosnia (human intelligence). He also served several years in CONUS
working with JICPAC, and in the Army Reserves (OPFOR and 60 gunner). He was repeatedly
recognized for his good work over the years.
For his
most recent deployment, Marc was sent to Africa as an Individual Augmentee in
2006, performing Intelligence related work in support of OEF. He holds a TS/SCI
clearance. He was a committed and affectionate husband and loving father of 4
young children (ages 6, 2, 2 and 1).
In
2007, he returned broken, angry and badly depressed. He was a different man. He
began drinking heavily given half a chance. Life was changed. We could no
longer go to public events, he would get confused, struggled to remember things
and kept a notepad constantly, then would forget what he wrote down (or where).
He was standoffish and cold towards me and our children, often flipping out/angry
over the smallest things. He refused to talk about anything overseas. Watching
the news would set him off (to this day, we do not watch the news in our home).
He could be downright mean.
He went
to great lengths to push me and our kids away, tried infidelity and other
things. He was flailing around trying ANYTHING to get away from himself. He had
flashbacks where he thought he was in a combat situation in our yard. I had to
carry him into the house where he collapsed. We were at an elementary school
event at a college stadium when it started to thunder & lightning, and we
got separated in the crowd. I found him, crouched down near an exit as though
he were holding a large gun and one of our sons standing there crying next to
him, and he was completely unaware of his own child's presence. Our neighbors
helped with the kids, and I was slowly able to get him to get into the van.
When he snapped out of it, he was dreadfully ashamed, confused and upset. He
withdrew further and things worsened. These are specific examples of actual events,
and the majority of these symptoms continue in various degrees of intensity to
this day.
In
looking back, I can see went through some of these symptoms when he initially
returned from Bosnia, and to a greater degree when returning from the first
Gulf war (we were married months after he returned). I thought he was just
having trouble adjusting from the military to regular life and it was a minor
thing. I could not have been more wrong.
On his
out-processing paperwork from Africa, they flagged him for "severe
PTSD." Neither of us had any idea of what that was, or what it meant. We
pretty much ignored it, to be honest. He never got treatment from the military,
he separated and that was it.
All I
knew, is that my husband was falling apart. In December 2008, I took him to our
family doctor, who prescribed Cymbalta. This seemed to help for a while, enough
that I was able to convince (ie, dragged) him to go to a vet center so he could
get some counseling. He was adamantly against ANYTHING that had to do with the
VA. By that time, I read a bit about PTSD and heard that EMDR could be a
helpful counseling tool.
After his
first EMDR session, either the counselor either didn't close the session
properly, or Marc didn't communicate what was going on. As I was driving him
home, he flipped out and attempted to jump out of our moving car on the
highway. Thankfully, I was close enough to the side of the road, and pulled
over before he could do it. I made him get into the back seat that had child
locks and got him back to the center. The counselor was clearly angry about him
coming back, and we left. He did try to go to a support group, which helped a
little. But he never went back to that counselor.
By this
time, Marc had gotten a civilian contracting job in the Intelligence field, due
to help from a friend from his unit. This job required a lot of travel, and in
some ways, that was a good thing for our family, though it's hard to say that.
Marc further withdrew into himself. When he was home, he wasn't there, mentally
or emotionally. He continued to have flashbacks, and started smoking (without
my knowledge) for the first time in 15 years.
He did
see a different counselor at that Vet Center, and I saw the same person for
help for myself in coping with Marc. I also had come down with Multiple
Sclerosis and was struggling with the implications of a lifelong chronic
disease while I was trying to hold my family together. I was starting to have
concerns when this counselor basically was telling me that the very REAL
symptoms I was experiencing were in my head, and that he knew someone with MS
who was a ballet dancer. I was thrown into a deep depression. My MEDICAL
DOCTORS were taking me more seriously than my Vet Center counselor.
And
then the suicide attempt. Marc has a habit of morbid thoughts and thinking
about suicide, but had not taken serious action. I didn't realize how bad things
were getting for him, I guess I had gotten numb to it because it was such a
constant. I was so distracted with the day to day problems, my own health, our
4 kids (by this time, we found that our twin boys had serious learning
disabilities), our house & finances... etc. I can't believe I missed it.
I
called Marc, by chance, on his way home from work. He answered his cell phone,
but he was flipping out and making no sense. I had no idea what was going on
except that he was clearly in a bad place, and tried to calm him down and then
called his Vet Center counselor (same one that I had), who spoke with him
briefly (1-2 minutes) and called me back to say things were OK (they were NOT).
I called Marc back, and he was all over the map and crazy. While Marc was talking
to his counselor, I also called a good friend of his who was a former
Ranger/sniper. Tim called Marc immediately, and talked him down. I firmly
believe that Marc would not be alive today if it were not for Tim. By the time
Tim reached him, he was on the roof of a parking garage and getting ready to
jump. I also called our family doctor, who said, get him to an ER and have his
medications checked. This sounds like it took hours, but it all happened in
minutes. After Marc talked to Tim, he called me in a rage... he was PISSED that
I'd called Tim, now he couldn't do it, and he blamed me. He screamed at me
until his phone ran out of battery. While he was on his way, I rounded up some
friends to keep our young kids, expecting that we would be at the ER for a
while.
When
Marc got home, he was seething, but not raging. I got Marc to go in the car
with me and told him that our doctor wanted to have him get his meds checked,
but since their office was closed, he wanted Marc to go to the ER. Marc was
MAD. He did NOT want to go to the ER. He was sure that something horrible would
happen to him, he would lose his clearance, etc. I did my best to talk him
down, kept repeating, this is only for a medication adjustment, that's all that
our doctor (who he liked) wanted him to do. It took me driving him around for
nearly 2 hours before he agreed to walk into the ER on his own feet. I didn't
want to go to the police or bring in any kind of law enforcement. In spite of
what we were going through, I still deeply respected my husband and I was doing
my best to get him some help.
So, he
walked into the hospital. I purposely picked GBMC where one of my friends (who
was part of our wedding party) worked, so that Marc might feel a little more
comfortable. I knew she couldn't really do anything, but it helped somewhat for
him to know that there was someone there that he knew. We checked into the ER.
I said calmly that our family doctor wanted Marc to be seen for a medication check
as things were not going well. The intake person started asking some questions
and Marc totally lost it, started telling her about every way that he was
planning to kill himself. That was when he was admitted. He was so angry, at me
at our friends (some came by to be supportive), at himself. He was raging and
like a wild animal in a cage. He told me to get out. At that point, I told the
doctors what I knew about PTSD, that he had no treatment except Cymbalta and
counseling, about his suicide attempt, etc.
Later,
I found out that Cymbalta effectiveness could be cut by nearly half from
smoking.
They
offered to send Marc to a bed at the Baltimore VA. I knew that Marc would flip
if he was "tricked" into going to the VA. I pushed for him to go to a
different hospital, and Shepherd Pratt was right next to GBMC. They had a bed,
but no treatment for PTSD at that time. I figured that was better than the VA at
that moment.
Wow,
was I wrong. He was transferred to Shepard Pratt, I got in to see him the next
day. They had him so medicated that he couldn't do anything. He was on an
addict ward, and they made him go to their classes and such, even though he
didn't have a substance abuse problem like that. He was almost convinced that
HE was an addict. I got him out of there as soon as I could. They didn't know what
to do with him, and he was getting angrier and angrier, even though on the
surface, "compliant" with the program.
I was
desperate. My friend's ex-husband's dad was Dr. Thomas Murtaugh, who was a
leader in treating veterans with PTSD and had done some groundbreaking work in
the field. I called him and told him everything that was happening. Even though
he was retired, he wanted to help. He referred me to Tom Pinder, Director of
the Elkton Vet Center. I called Tom, and I was a desperate wreck and had a hard
time even explaining what was happening. He listened, and agreed to see Marc as
soon as he was discharged.
It was
very difficult to get Marc out of the hospital. They wanted him on these heavy
medications and Marc
wanted nothing to do with those. They finally released him into Tom Pinder's
care. Marc went to talk to Tom. Our family doctor upped the Cymbalta dose. Marc
stopped smoking in Fall 2009.
For the
first time, I started to have some hope. Tom Pinder has been a lifesaver for
Marc and for our family. I am so thankful for his expertise and genuine care
for Marc and our family.
Tom
treated Marc for PTSD since August 2009 to the present. He has been able to
reach in and help Marc deal with his memories and has walked with him through
the many traumas that Marc experienced in the military. Some of which, he is
just now starting to be able to talk about, starting with the Gulf war, where
he stood nearby when a Marine backed into the blades of a helicopter, exploding
his head. Where he saw a buddy get his neck broken by a rotor blade, slamming
him into the ground.
Where
he volunteered to "help at a school" in Kuwait and ended up picking
up body parts in the bay, making sure that there were 2 arms, 2 legs, a torso
and a head in each bag. Where he was present for evacuations in Africa under
heavy fire, where he worked in support of Marine operations. In Bosnia, where
he was strongly directed to use a false name due to previous threats to
families back home, where he was pursued, witnessed torture in order to obtain
valuable information that was used to prosecute and convict various war
criminals. In Africa, where he was in the middle of a highly volatile area,
witnessed children being used as human shields, gang rapes, and many more
deaths & atrocities.
In the
meantime, Marc was dealing with a lot of problems in his Navy Reserve unit
since returning from Africa. They were sending him to medical, medical had no
idea why, then he would return, and his command would be mad at him for not
"completing his appointments." Marc was unable to figure out what
they wanted him to do, and he became increasingly frustrated and angry.
Finally, he was given direct instructions to go to Bethesda for an evaluation.
Nobody told him what kind of evaluation. It turned out that it was a mental
health evaluation. Again, he was diagnosed with PTSD and a few other issues. He
never received the treatment recommended from that evaluation.
In
January 2010, Marc's contract ended. His unit moved him to another unit about a
month before his contract ended, and his retirement paperwork was lost (as far
as we can tell). We were able to confirm that the Navy did send his military
medical records to the Veterans' Benefit Administration in Baltimore.
This is
important, because we have been trying to locate these records for more than a
year currently, and it is preventing Marc from getting important diagnostic
services which may explain why he has additional symptoms more consistent with
TBI than PTSD even though he only had a minor head injury in the Navy.
In the
time between January 2010 and November 2011, we had many ups & downs as a
family. Marc continued to exhibit many of the aforementioned symptoms. He was
all over the map emotionally when he was home. He would stop taking care of
himself, to the point where he was written up at work for it.
I had
to negotiate to get him to shave and cut his hair and shower. He continued to
be angry, avoid me, avoid the kids, avoid himself. He loathed himself, as a
man, as a human. He didn't want to go to counseling. He didn't want to take his
medication. He was constantly exhausted. He had severe GI problems. He couldn't
sleep, and would have violent, violent dreams. I woke up in a headlock or because
he punched me in his sleep when he did sleep. He would exercise to the point of
falling down.
He
continued to have flashbacks, would react to any loud noise. We could not go to
public events where there was any kind of crowd and the 4th of July and New Years
were days to dread, shut the windows and stay inside. Many times, he would hole
up in the basement.
Our
kids don't understand this stuff. They are at the point where they accept it if
Dad is having a bad day, and I have done my best to protect them from the worst
of it. Due to all that we have been through, my memories of our kids being
young is nearly non-existent. I have been in survival mode for years and
struggle with my own issues as a result. Again, I am thankful for the Elkton
Vet Center, as their people have been incredibly supportive of our family and
our kids. Our oldest sees a counselor there as she's been harmed by all this
turmoil, and we have had some family counseling sessions as well. Supporting
the FAMILIES of wounded warriors is JUST as important as supporting the
warriors themselves. I know that if Marc didn't have us, he would likely be
homeless and desperate. If we didn't have this support, we could not be there
for him as we have been.
So,
fast forward to fall 2011. Marc started falling apart again, but in a different
way. He was becoming unable to handle the responsibilities at work. He still
struggled with self-care. He was extremely paranoid. He continued to be angry
and withdrawn, though he was beginning to turn a corner in our relationship. He
wasn't blaming me as much for the things he suffered. He still was dealing with
symptoms previously mentioned. He still was dealing with a lot of anger,
nightmares, patrolled the house at night, etc. He started getting lost going to
& from work. He was not doing any bad behavior, but was getting honestly
lost. He started relying heavily on his GPS in the Prius to get from one place to
another. His stress level was rising exponentially. This was strange, because
the fall was usually a better time for him than the summer. When the heat would
come on during the summer, all his symptoms would spike. When the fall came,
and coolness set in, he would normally get a little relief.
At the
end of November 2011, he broke. He called me from his car, he was lost, he was
exhausted, he couldn't keep going. He was broken and sobbing. I talked him home.
He was a mess. He talked to his boss, who said that he should get help and
helped him get on short term disability via Cigna. We called Tom. He
recommended Coatesville as a good option if Marc could get in there. First,
Marc needed to get to a VA hospital. He did NOT want to go to Baltimore (in his
words, it smelled of vomit and cigarettes and he didn't trust them). So we went
to Perry Point. They had no beds, they were going to send him to Martinsburg,
WV or DC, but at the last minute, something opened up in Baltimore.
Marc
was not happy, but at that moment, there was nothing he could do. He was in
crisis and he needed help.
They
put him on the 6th floor, and he shared a room with a guy who had been blown
up. They connected and watched each other's backs. Always vigilant, and in
spite of their injuries, they tried to be a help to the nurses with the other
patients.
We got
the application going for Coatesville, and Marc was transferred there. At
first, it seemed ok. He was really trying to participate. He brought a notebook
to every meeting (kind of like a shield) and was on time. The groups were hard,
and left him in tears. He was falling apart, and told the doctors some of the
things he tried to avoid dealing with stuff.
For
whatever reason, they didn't get it. Even though he wasn't diagnosed with TBI,
he had "other symptoms" not consistent with PTSD and they felt that
this wasn't the right environment for him. They had no options, just that this
wasn't right. And this was the VA's "world class" PTSD treatment
option??
No
answers, no follow up care. Just, you don't fit exactly with our expectations,
so goodbye. I spoke at LENGTH with the young PhD, and she said she had problems
with Marc getting emotional, with the fact that he was on time, and had a
notepad. She had problems with some of the things he did to avoid pain. She
outright refused to contact Tom Pinder who had been treating him since 2009,
for insight, or at least to consult. She said that he was delusional because of
having to use an assumed name, basically questioned the validity of his service
and what he did when he was overseas!!
So Marc
was told to leave, and before I could get up there, he was wandering the
streets of Coatesville, with nowhere to go and a bag of personal belongings,
starting to walk home to Towson (just north of Baltimore). They basically
kicked a wounded, combat-trained vet, onto the streets in the middle of January
in Pennsylvania. I could not get up there, I had 4 young kids, it was late in
the day, the soonest I could go up is the next day, had to pull everyone out of
school, etc. I convinced Marc to go back, and they put him in a high-risk ward
overnight. This discharge was handled TERRIBLY. Marc already had enough
paranoia and now it was directed at the VA.
I was
desperate. Marc was in bad shape when I was able to get him home. I got him up
to see Tom several times just to try and keep him stable. Coatesville added
meds to the Cymbalta, which somewhat helped.
At some
point, a VA doctor tried to put Marc on Zoloft, and said to stop Cymbalta
cold-turkey and start Zoloft over a weekend. He became violent and psychotic!!
I was afraid for myself and our kids. I immediately stopped that and returned
him to Cymbalta. Their reasoning is that the VA doesn't usually prescribe
Cymbalta because it's expensive (no generic). Unacceptable. I had very few
options. Marc was falling apart, and in December, I got connected with Family
of a Vet.
They
helped connect me to a VA FIRC. What an amazing program! Maureen connected me with
Hope for the warriors. They helped get Marc into the Military Wellness Program
at Holliswood hospital in Queens, NY. They offered a DOD certified program for
PTSD and TBI. Marc was admitted (he was on short term disability through Cigna
/ his employer so we had health insurance). They diagnosed him AGAIN with PTSD.
He was finally getting help!! But because it was through private insurance,
they kicked him out once he was 'stable' and before he completed the program.
He came home, and was a mess again. He was referred to the Aspen outpatient
program even though that was not a military PTSD program. It did not work for
Marc, there were folks there who were extremely anti-military (at least that
was Marc's perspective) and he couldn't let down his guard.
After
this, Marc attempted to return to work. He does not want to be on
disability/etc. His goal was to get back to regular life. He did OK for the
first week, and then things began to slip again. His symptoms spiked, in spite
of the additional medications, he was falling apart again. He hung on for about
a month, then went back on short term disability to try and find help.
He
attended the PRRC program at Baltimore, because it was just about the only
thing that was available locally. It was somewhat helpful, it gave him a place
to go, some coping skills groups, etc.
He was
designated as a patient community leader. But this solution was primarily for
people who were much less functional than Marc, so while there was marginal
benefit with the coping skills, it wasn't really helping Marc. Certainly not to
the level that Holliswood had helped.
In
August, Marc contracted a pasturella infection from an animal bite. He went to
the VA hospital, who prescribed a basic antibiotic. It didn't work, and the end
result is that Marc was hospitalized through the fall of 2012 due to life
threatening infection. This is not the first time that Marc has had trouble
with infections going from simple and blowing up. It's like his immune system
just doesn't respond the way it's supposed to. At one point, he was on 2 IV
antibiotics and an oral antibiotic after the PICC line was put in. It was
terrifying.
During
this up & down with the infections & hospitalization, the PTSD group
was trying to evaluate Marc. He was all over the map mentally and emotionally
after the previous months of trying to get decent treatment and continually
falling out of the programs. Because he was able to complete the PRRC program,
it seemed that maybe he would be ready to tackle the PTSD program and take the next
steps towards getting well. But he was extremely spun up and the hospital had
taken him off all meds except cymbalta (without my knowledge) which meant that
Marc was even WORSE than before in terms of mood swings and anxiety and highs
& lows.
When I
read the report, it sounded like Marc was a completely different person, or at
least that the person administering the test & evaluation was seeing him as
a completely different person than he is.
She
indicated that he was malingering, which in my interpretation says,
"faking it" to get income. Let me be clear: Marc had a $115,000 /
year salary, full benefits for the family, and a PURPOSE in his work, prior to
his falling apart in 2011. NOBODY would do that in exchange to the 30K / year
in VA disability, with no health coverage for your family. Our mortgage alone
is 2,300/ month. I have a chronic medical condition, our kids have learning
disabilities and my oldest daughter is dealing with depression.
It was
(and still is) EXTREMELY PAINFUL to be told upon reading these records, that
everything we have personally experienced, EVERYTHING that we continue to
experience, is basically a lie in her professional opinion?!?! Again, the
people in the PTSD area REFUSED to speak to Tom Pinder, Marc's
VA VET CENTER COUNSELOR who has been treating him for PTSD since 2009.
And we
have no recourse. There are no options.
In
spite of the fact that Marc did complete a sleep study in March (I believe)
2013, which he was told AGAIN, that his sleep patterns were consistent with PTSD
& nightmare disorder. At least that was encouraging in a way, because it
VALIDATES the multiple diagnoses of PTSD that he's received. You cannot
"fake" sleep.
And
then we had a C&P evaluation, which seemed to echo the PTSD evaluation and
didn't even take into account the more recent sleep study, he basically
discarded the letter written by Tom Pinder that said he's being treated for
PTSD for the past several years, he interrupted repeatedly during the interview,
and basically blew off the reality of what Marc struggles with, and our family
experiences, every single day. His priority was was talking about Marc's
childhood, which had problems, which have never been denied or hidden, and for
which Marc had received early intervention, as well as adult counseling. His
conclusion reflect his disregard for what Marc told him, what I told him, and
tries to deny the fact that Marc's problems ARE service connected. So, today,
except for very basic medication management and counseling, Marc has been out
of treatment for anything since August 2012, more than a year.
He was
given a part-time psychiatrist in the mental health clinic to mange his
medications. She has been supportive, but she is only in the office one day a
week, and cannot be reached using secure messaging. She at least, called Tom
Pinder and spoke to him about Marc, and noted it in the records.
I have
asked REPEATEDLY for referral to support groups, mindfulness group, something,
ANYTHING to help him develop and use new coping skills. ANYTHING to help us get
way from dependence on the VA and back on our own feet.
But
truly, nobody has responded. The answer that keeps coming back is, maybe
through the PTSD clinic. But Marc was told that he is not allowed to go there
for any support because they "don't know what's wrong" and they
"don't want to make it worse" since not all of his symptoms are an
exact fit with PTSD alone. And at this point, it would take a miracle to get
him to walk in there due to his severe mistrust and paranoia about talking to
these people.
But no
further investigation. No speaking to his counselor. No trying to even figure
out what is going on. Just, sorry, you don't exactly fit here, goodbye. No
thought given to the fact that he was off and on his medications when the tests
& interviews were done. No offer to re-evaluate him using a different tool
or try and determine what's going on.
This is
consistent and disturbing pattern, where no actual treatment is provided:
• When
Marc went in for GI testing, they basically sent him on his way, in spite of
the fact that he suffers with gut problems for hours a day. They wanted him to
try a medication that might slow his guts down (and that one of the side
effects was to cause more diarrhea), but no idea what was really wrong, and no
further diagnostic tests.
• When
Marc went in for the sleep study, it was helpful that they diagnosed him with
PTSD with Nightmare disorder. I did not see that noted in the health records
office notes, however. And there is no treatment. No treatment was offered for
the "non interruptive" apnea (severe snoring), and no real treatment
options for the sleep disturbances either.
• When
Marc was at Coatesville, the verdict was "you don't fit here" but
there was no treatment or follow on care
• When
Marc finished the PRRC program, there was no transitional help in getting back
on his feet, or helping him to move forward.
• When
Marc goes in for medication review, asking for help/treatment, the answer is
"Sorry, we don't have anything" in this area.
This is
not treatment.
This is
not going to help Marc get well.
On my
own, in looking for answers, I have done additional research about the areas
where Marc was deployed, the medications he was required to take for the
military, and there is one possible option that may explain some of the
anomalies that have prevented Marc from getting any kind of real treatment.
No,
it's not TBI, while he fell off the deck during his first deployment and busted
up his head, he cannot recall ever being blown up or near an IED.
One
answer may be Mefloquine / Lariam. He was required to use this on every major
deployment, and it is being phased out since 2008, due to the problems it
causes. Some of the problems it causes are permanent brain damage.
We have
been trying to get into the Wartime Injury & Illness group for a
comprehensive evaluation because Marc was deployed from 1988-1992 during the
first gulf war, again in Bosnia in 2002, and back to Africa in 2006. During
every one of these deployments he took Mefloquine (Lariam), an antimalarial drug.
The symptoms can appear as TBI symptoms, they can also show up (and exacerbate)PTSD
symptoms. This is finally being reported by the FDA, and the DOD only uses it
as a "last resort" medication now.
However,
I need his primary care physician to REFER him for an evaluation. I am not
looking for them to immediately check the box, I want him to GET TESTED. That's
all. His PCP refuses unless we provide proof that he was on such medications
during those times.
The
Navy sent all of Marc's military medical records to the Baltimore VA Benefits
Administration. We confirmed this with Navy PERSCOM. They sent them in 2010. We
have not been able to put hands on them, and our copy was destroyed in a flood
from a hurricane (which we still haven't recovered from).
Nobody
returns calls, and we can make no progress.
So,
it's another Catch 22. Here is a VIABLE possible explanation for some of the
additional symptoms that Marc experiences. Yet, I cannot get him in for TESTING
without the records that the VBA has in storage in Baltimore. He has his DD214s
that prove he served in the affected areas. I cannot get those records because
nobody seems to know who to talk to. I recently found out that the Baltimore
VBA is the second worst in the nation (after Los Angeles) for errors and
delays.
It
should never be such a fight to obtain care for injuries sustained during
deployments! If Marc didn't have me to advocate for him, he would be a
statistic. How many men and women are statistics because of these obstacles to
help EARNED by serving our country?
And as
caregiver, it falls on me, to keep Marc stable. To manage his medications. To
try and help him remember skills that he was briefly exposed to 1-2 years ago.
To help him feel like he is not alone. To manage every single thing in our
house & family because he is unable to do so. Finances. Home repairs. Kids.
School work. Debt. Mortgage. Medical care. Schedules. Yard work. Even
completing minor tasks is difficult for him. To take care of all administrative
issues, military stuff, etc.
And I
am grateful for those who HAVE helped or try to help, like Maureen Merkl (FIRC,
an angel), Tom Pinder (Director Elkton Vet Center), Dr. Murtaugh (Retired,
Passed away), Dr. Lankerani (Psychiatrist), Dr. Eby (PCP), Janet Ramsey from
the Baltimore OIF/OEF office (retired last year), the Ortho team that helped
repair the damage from the infections.
I am
not angry at the VA or any individual person, I think that the load is
increasing exponentially and that most of the time they are trying to help
while overwhelmed. But there is no excuse, even if there are good reasons. We
are not the only ones who are hurting.
The
fact that I have to fight so hard is WRONG.
Marc
has unfortunately been one of the guys who has repeatedly fallen through the
proverbial cracks. I am getting really, really tired of it. We are heading into
2014, and I have no idea what is going to happen one month to the next. I do
have Champ VA, but nobody seems to take it, and I don't have the cash to get
care for MS. It's only a matter of time before my health fails, and then what??
We are
in pain in so many areas. Marc individually, and both of us as a couple. Our
kids feel it, my teen daughter is in counseling for depression and I'm really
worried about all of our kids.
This
letter covers the "high" points. We continue to struggle with the
military and other issues that I am working with legal via Navy Safe Harbor to
remedy. And looking for non-profit "free" treatment, too.
So, in
the meantime... here are THREE things that would help our family TODAY:
•
Re-evaluate Marc at Perry Point (or somewhere OTHER than Baltimore) for PTSD,
from scratch, independently.
• Order
the comprehensive and mefloquine/lariam evaluations through the Wartime Illness
& Injury group, based on his DD214s since the VBA can't provide his records
at this time. (And/or, locate Marc's military medical records that were sent
from the Navy to the Baltimore VBA in 2010)
• Make
support groups and coping skills groups more accessible, not only to Marc, but
to every veteran so that they have the support they need from other veterans
and can develop the skills they NEED to manage their health and well-being.
This is
just three things. Just three!!
I know Marc’s C&P will be a problem at some point,
but my priority is to get him TREATMENT so we don’t have to rely on that. We want to move FORWARD and towards
independence, and get back to a regular life and work. But without treatment, without help for the injuries
Marc sustained during his military service, we are stuck.
To learn more about the State of Heroes and Families
project, please visit our main site or visit any of the following direct
project links -
Why This Started:
www.familyofavet.com/state_of_veterans_families-why.html
The Statistics:
www.familyofavet.com/state_of_veterans_families-statistics.html
Our Stories:
www.familyofavet.com/state_of_veterans_families-stories.html
What We Hope For: www.familyofavet.com/state_of_veterans_families-hopes.html
FAQ About the Project: www.familyofavet.com/state_of_veterans_families-faq.html
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