In the beginning of Thirty Days with My Father: Finding
Peace from Wartime PTSD, Christal envisions herself, mom, and dad in a happy
and carefree life, with her mom’s biggest worries being the rose bushes she
should plant around the mailbox. She dreams of how things could be…if only war
hadn’t been weighing so heavily on her father, and in return their family.
Growing up in a life where she felt isolated from her
father, as he stayed behind closed doors, strumming his guitar: his lifeline
and happiness in life, Presley was a child to a Vietnam Veteran with Post
Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Looking
back now, Christal realizes that music is her dads drug, as animals are hers. At
the young age of 18, her dad (Delmer Presley) was drafted into the army,
spending a year in Vietnam. When he returned home, he returned changed like
many service members and over time with PTSD showing in all aspects of life.
Presley grew up “walking on eggshells”, never knowing what would be that one
thing to set her father off or to have him resort to locking himself behind
closed doors. Growing up, Christal exemplified many signs of Secondary PTSD as
she witnessed her father’s episodes.
Writing became the outlet that Christal used to process life
and get through life. While taking a writer’s workshop, the speaker asked the
class, “What if you wrote about the thing you fear the most?” The speaker himself
has not been able to find happiness in life until he worked through his fears.
Instantly, Christal knew what it was that she feared the most, her father and
the war he had brought home from Vietnam. This was when she was challenged to
focus on a thirty day project. She would call her dad every day to talk about
the war that she grew up in. This was intended to help her in gaining closure
on the past and heal from the memories that she could not suppress. Surprisingly, her father had agreed to take
part in this and would answer questions about his time spent overseas in war.
The conversations began with a touch of awkwardness since
they did not have a relationship due to how Christal grew up. Within time, a
bond was formed and the talks became more open and honest. Both shared things
they went through in life and within time, things they were going through. I
relationship was finally being formed. They discussed Agent Orange and the
forests of Vietnam. Her father spoke on the anti-war protesters that filled
airports and places that held Vietnam Veterans. People would line the streets
with signs, “Baby Killers”, “Dope Heads” and many other things, they were
spitting on soldiers that returned from war. It wasn’t just men acting in this
cruel manner, but women and children as well. Delmer emotionally tells things
that Christal did not expect.
Over ten years after returning from war, Delmer Presley
discovered he had come in contact with Agent Orange and that a big mass has
developed in his lungs. While Christal Presley was in college, he had a part of
his right lung removed due to this. He tells Christal of the many issues and
lives that were lost due to Agent Orange.
During one conversation, Presley asks her father what advice
he would have for families of veterans today. His response is for family
members to find a group and get counseling. Families need to know what to
expect. “War changes a person. It
changes everything”. He also goes on to tell her that there is nothing she
could have done to help him or to make things different. There wasn’t help for
veterans after Vietnam, as there is now.
As time dove on, Presley’s relationship with her father
became more open and closure from the past was found. Bad memories from the
past may still remain, but with forgiveness, understanding and moving on,
Presley was able to begin remembering good times – from before the war came to
stay. Presley was able to relive the
moments of smiles, laughter and enjoying the random times of happiness she shared
with her father growing up.
After the thirty days with her father, Christal Presley made
the decision to travel to Vietnam. She stands in the same places her father
stood in Chu Lai. She walked on his landing pad at LZ Bayonet. She saw the
mountains he saw during such a horrid time. She touched the same earth as he
did.
I encourage families of veterans of all eras to read Thirty
Days with My Father: Finding Peace from Wartime PTSD. There are so many
emotions tied into this story. As a family member to a veteran of war, this
book will make you feel as though you are reading parts of your own life. As a
civilian to the military life, you will grasp more as to what goes on behind
closed doors that military and veteran families are still so reluctant to speak
of. Presley has a captivating and unique way of capturing the good and bad moments in her life
and pulling readers into her world. Thirty Days is an emotional read because of
the sincere honesty it holds. It is a book that will remain a part in the lives and hearts
of all that read it.
About the Author, Christal Presley:
Christal Presley received her bachelor’s
degree in English and her master’s degree in English Education from
Virginia Tech. She received her Ph.D in Education from Capella
University. She is a former intern at Algonquin Books of Chapel Hill,
and spent seven years teaching middle and high school English in Chatham
and Danville, Virginia.
Her first book, Thirty Days with My Father: Finding Peace from Wartime PTSD, will be published by Health Communications, Inc. in November 2012.
Christal grew up in Honaker, Virginia, and currently lives in Atlanta, Georgia. She is the founder of United Children of Veterans,
a website that provides resources about PTSD in children of war
veterans. In her spare time, you can find Christal playing with her
dogs, tending to her chickens, and gardening.
Website: www.christalpresley.com
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| ISBN-13: 9780757316463
Publisher: Health Communications, Incorporated Publication date: 11/1/2012 |
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