Mother's Day is Sunday and I know that many of you are
anticipating the time with your kids.
Some will get cards and drawings that will forever be treasured in
scrapbooks or special drawers, perhaps even on walls and refrigerators. Some may be without their children due to a
painful loss. Some may have a son or
daughter in a war zone.
Then there are those who are in a different situation like
me. While two are pursuing their dreams
with college, I honestly don't know whether I will have any communication with
my oldest. It depends on what kind of
day it is for him. Things that seemed
perfectly normal just a few years ago are now rare moments in time. Family holidays, Super Bowl parties with
their favorite appetizer, family movie and game nights: these are almost as
rare as the Super Moon we experienced a couple of nights ago.
PTSD, brain injuries, epilepsy and memory loss have taken
those every day natural times and made them treasured memories, not only
because I love my kids but because one of them will never be the same again and
it is not his fault.
That is what I cling to: my son's personality changes are
NOT his fault. They are his wounds from
serving in combat, defending his country, protecting his loved ones. Seriously, I deal with people telling me I
cut him too much slack. Really? Well, maybe so. But if had been someone with problems as a
juvenile, someone who always had a bad temper or didn't care about being around
his family or kept himself locked up in a room, I could see their point. But he wasn't. He was a young man so proud of his hometown
that he brought his Army buddies home whenever he could. They would tell me about how he would go on
about being from the greatest place in the world. When Hurricane Katrina hit and I thought of
going with a church to help, my son called and told me not to because his unit
was going to be helping and he didn't want to have to worry about me being
there with some of the “not-so-good” stuff going on with people taking
advantage of a disaster and hurting others.
Mother's Day is nothing like what it used to be. If I get a moment with him, I will definitely
be thanking God. If I don't, I will
probably go through old pictures, old
letters, old memories and still be thankful to God.
If you are about to experience your first or yet another
Mother's Day in a world filled with PTSD, please remember that you are not
alone. There are other moms out there
who understand what you are going through.
If you need help finding a support group, email me at monica_newton_writer@yahoo.com. Or reach out to Family of a Vet here and
someone will be happy to assist you in getting the right resources. We care because we understand. We understand because we have been through
and live with a lot of the same things you do.
Also, remember this: we as moms are a lot stronger than we
realize. I didn't know how strong I
could be until I became my son's combat buddy here at home, a name his own
commander gave to me. We are your combat
buddies, also. Let's smile and enjoy our
Mother's Day and not let the “enemy” take it over. We can spend it with our children if we are
able to or we can take comfort in the wonderful memories of how it once
was. Either way, we are the lucky ones
for having those brave young men and women in our lives. No one can take that away from us, not even
PTSD.
Happy Mother's Day.
:)
Monica Newton
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