Wednesday, April 11, 2012

My World, Now and Forever


The inspiration to write this came from the recently ended “Love Letter Campaign”.  I’m currently assigned to a WTU, and have basically nothing but time, so I spent part of today looking through the FOV blog.  It was touching to read all of those heartfelt letters to spouses.  Even though the campaign is officially over, I felt that I needed to contribute.  Not as a spouse that’s a caretaker, but as the spouse with PTSD.

K,

When I first met and got to know you, I was awe-struck.  You had a way of carrying yourself that showed confidence and intelligence, and your beauty was spell binding.  It took me a while to wake up to the fact that you were attracted to me, and I’ll admit that you made the first moves, but that was because I figured you were out of my league. 

Now it’s ten years later, and you’re still out of my league.  Your beauty has only improved over the years, and your qualities of intelligence, compassion, resilience, selflessness, and dedication have grown beyond the levels that any normal person should have.  I love you for this.

You’ve moved, worried, and cried over the last eight years in support of my job and me.  You’ve given so much and never asked for anything material in return.  You’ve held me when I needed it, gave me space when I’ve needed it, and called me out when I’ve needed it. I love you for this.

I don’t know how you’ve held it together over that last few trying years.  Your strength is amazing.  You’ve been my caretaker, my counselor, my friend, and wife without fail.  You never took me for granted, and didn’t leave when I shut down, or raged, or lied, or drank, or wanted to die.  I love you for this.

You have done nothing but improve as a wife, a woman, and a friend, even while I was slipping into my own hole.  Your support, love, conversation, affection, and stubbornness helped pull me out of that hole.  Now that things are slowly getting better, I appreciate you more than I could ever express with words.  The time we spend together, even when it’s doing something as simple as watching TV, is precious to me.  Small things, like rubbing my back as I’m about to fall asleep remind me of why I love you. 

You are my world, now and forever.

Love,
B.

1 comment:

  1. My husband is currently stationed in the WTU Battalion in Ft. Carson, CO and I am unable to be with him. I do my best to do what I can for him but he drinks, gets angry, lies to me and has currently not spoken to me in 24hrs. I went online looking for support and found this blog. I hope that my husband feels the way about me that you do about your wife. This letter helped me remember why I stick it out through the struggle. It helped me remember that even when he doesnt show me love that I just have to show him mine as much as I can. To back down when he needs me to and to call him out when he needs it. I wish that our circumstance allowed for me to be in Colorado with him but unfortunatly it doesnt and this breaks my heart. I can't touch him or make him pick up the phone and he has no support system where he is. It breaks my heart and today I was really down. Thank you for posting this it has helped me remember in the end it is worth it. Many happy years to you and your wife and again thank you so much for sharing.

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