Wednesday, December 14, 2011

The Love Letter Campaign: Love Always and Forever

Dear Mike,

As the years have gone by I have aged, but you will forever be 21.  I now have spent more Valentines days alone then we spent together.  I love you always and forever.

I didn't think in a million years I would write you letters and leave them at your grave.  I don't ever regret loving you.  I wish I knew how much you were struggling inside.  If only you had told someone what was happening.  

I know the sleep was wrestless.  The deployments were so lonley and as I reread the letters all the signs were there.  I wish I knew to tell someone.  If only I had asked the right questions.  

Mike I love you always and forever.  I carry you in my heart and soul.  Our love is now the love that we both take to our graves.  If only it could have lasted longer on earth longer.  

Happy Valentines day my love.  We had far too few together.  Maybe one day we can stroll through the clouds and you can explain why it had to be this way.  Nothing was worth taking your own life. 

Love always and forever,  

Just another Marine Corps Widow

This blog post is part of The Love Letter Campaign... a project started by to encourage those who love a hero to write a letter sharing their story (where they started, what they've faced together, and why their love endures). It's not just for spouses, but also for parents, siblings, caregivers, and friends. It's about telling the "rest" of our stories... stories that continue despite PTSD, TBI, and the challenges of life after combat. To share your love letter or find out more about the campaign, visit

1 comment:

  1. I am very sorry for your loss. Suicide leaves questions, but few answers. I was a 34 year-old major, who was expected to be mentally superior than 90% of the ranks, but combat changes most men. After a year-long tour in Afghanistan, I suffered PTSD and sustained a TBI, I had to resign my commission of more than 12 years, I endured a divorce from my wife of 14 years, I lost most visitation from my 3 children, I attemped suicide twice and found solace in the psyche ward, I enjoyed chronic pain and OD'ed on narcotics, and much much more. Suicide does not result in soldiers due to weakness, but rather it is a manefestation of overwhelming mental and physical pain. There's no one to blame, but it is so sad because it can be stopped in the majority of cases. Nevertheless, it happens and we must find strength and peace to endure. Mike is now in peace, and he does not have to endure the haunting memories of deployments and combat. For that I am quite jealous...and I long for his peace. Someday we will all enjoy Mike's peace, but until then, we must tie our loving memories into a little bow...and place them lovingly on a shelf. Take those memories off the shelf when you need them, but don't stop living life. We are only here on earth for a short period of time, then we to home to the heavenly Father, who comforts us and reunites us with those loved ones who best us to the Pearly Gates. Again, I am sorry for your loss. Please be strong and carry on, so Mike's legacy lives on. Blessings...Patrick