Monday, December 26, 2011
The Love Letter Campaign: Fate with a Twist
It was 5 years ago this month that I first laid eyes on you. We were in a bar, I didn't want to do anything but have fun, you were a soldier returning from the war wanting to find something to be happy about. I was there with another guy, nobody special just another bad boy who was giving me what I wanted at the time... negative attention. I said something to you that night that to this day said was the first moment you knew you were going to fall madly in love with me and that we would get married one day...you asked me if I was with the guy I was out with and I said,"I'm nobodys girl!"
I was a single Mother who had barley survived a horrible divorce and the last thing I wanted was some man telling me what to do. By the end of the night you had charmed me with your humor and somehow got me to give you my number. When you called the next day I NEVER thought in a million years you would be anyone worth my attention...just another dumb guy trying to get something from me. That night we talked for over 3 hours...and laughed most of the time. I learned what an amazing person you were, I remember getting off the phone feeling very curious about if you were really "for real" or was this just another act.
The next few months we spoke a ton on the phone while you were back in TN and I was in MD. When you returned for a weekend break we went on our first official date. MAJOR LET DOWN!! You were so uncomfortable I spent more time picking at the label on my beer then talking with you. I had my girlfriend call me and invite us downtown with some of my friends just so that I could get around other people in hopes that you would get the hint that I was not interested. At the end of the evening of me ignoring you, you still took me home like a gentalmen and said thank you for the evening. You didn't try to invite yourself inside, you didn't even kiss me. Again I laid down in my bed that night very curious as to what kind of a man you were...I had never been out with a guy who didn't at least try to get in my apartment or kiss me at the door after a date. This was all very interesting to me.
Throughout the year of 2007 we had a number of ups and downs with you being in TN, me being in MD, you wanting me, but me still not able to give you what you wanted...my heart. I couldn't tell you exactly when it changed for me but one day I wokeup and the idea of you not being mine forever gave me a horrible pain in my heart. I knew then that you were all I had ever wanted and would ever need.
Things have never been easy for us. We moved in together and then found out one month later that we were expecting our daughter. What was suppose to be an amazing time when she was born turned into hell because her birth triggered so many things for you and not good things. Horrible nightmares from Iraq that you would not wish on your worst enemy. We then got married in June of 2009 which was followed by a year of challenges. 2010 to current has been the longest strech of challenges we have yet faced. Even the birth of our third child while it was truly a blessing it came at a time in our marriage when things were not as they should be. This has all challenged our marriage, our faith, our family, our souls, and so much more. It has taken our marriage to the breaking point but here we still STAND TOGETHER! You are my Husband and I will fight for you til the day that I die. You are my soulmate and my lover! My soul without you is not whole. You are my best friend and I know you are still in there just waiting to be healed so you can come back out. Please come back, I miss you (shadow warrior).
I love you more then words and actions could ever explain. You are my heart and soul. Never give up. Never stop fighting. Never let go of eachother!
I love you Paul!