My Dearest Husband James,
My Big Papa, I have started many letters so many times telling you how much I love you and how proud I am of you and to be your wife. You are my best friend, my lover, my husband and my forever. There are not enough beautiful words to describe the love I feel for you. When you joined the Army shortly after our handsome son was born I knew things were going to be different. You went off to basic and grew to be a soldier. When you were deployed to Afghanistan I was terrified. That evening I drove away and left you at Ft. McCoy knowing the next day you would step onto a plane and be gone halfway across the world my heart ached. My whole life and our three beautiful children's lives are wrapped up in you. Your smile, your hugs, the warmth of your touch and just your presence alone makes my heart feel at peace so the day you stepped foot on that plane my peace went with you. I worried constantly of your safety and the safety of your fellow soldiers with you. I remember the call I received telling me your were okay when you lost two of your fellow friends. My heart yearned to comfort the families of those soldiers but at the same time I was relieved. 12 months is entirely too long to be away from your reason for breathing. I became emotionless and just lived life through the motions. When you came home I had you twenty four hours a day, seven days a week until you went to DEMOB. You were gone an extra 4 weeks longer than the rest of your unit because of your injuries. I was depressed and did not know where our lives were going more over I was worried about YOU. When you returned home still unaware of the things that were going on I had to be strong and push through. With all the stress of your appointments and your transition back into civilian life we ran into some road bumps and even a detour or two. Some that scared the both of us. The worst was when you said I do not thing this is going to work. My heart fell and broke into a million pieces. When you explained you did not want me to go through the strain of what is to come, to protect my heart I REFUSED! When we hit those detours I had no idea where your mind was or even if your heart was still into it but I KNEW you love me as much as I love you and I was NOT going to give up and I was not going to let YOU. To this day I REFUSE to give up on you and our love. Now that we have both overcome some of the worst we have had, I am optimistic that the rest of our lives from here on out will be built on those detours to only strengthen what we have together. I know you are not completely healed and you may never be the same man that left on that summer day but I can honestly say I love you more today than I ever have. WE have been through so much in our 8 years together and I am looking forward to forever with you.
I could go on and on but a quote from our favorite movie says it all... “So it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me... everyday.”-The Notebook.
Relationships are very hard work and are not to be taken lightly and I know that we do not. But love, it comes naturally and baby the love you and I share is a Forever and Ever kind of love.
With all my heart and soul,
Forever and Always
Your Sweet Pea,
This blog post is part of The Love Letter Campaign... a project started by FamilyOfaVet.com to encourage those who love a hero to write a letter sharing their story (where they started, what they've faced together, and why their love endures). It's not just for spouses, but also for parents, siblings, caregivers, and friends. It's about telling the "rest" of our stories... stories that continue despite PTSD, TBI, and the challenges of life after combat. To share your love letter or find out more about the campaign, visit http://www.familyofavet.co