The hardest thing I've found to deal with is that my husband turns against me when he's having a hard time dealing with PTSD. He's gone so far as to tell his Dr. I was poisonng him. He gets mad because I've never been the aggressive type and I'm still not agressive with other people, but I MAKE him get help and I MAKE him take the meds they prescribe.
My motto is we are a team. If one member is down, the other has to pick up the slack. Thankfully medicine has helped our situation a lot and I feel like I almost have the man I dated before he went to Iraq.
It's not been easy to get to this point at all. There were several times I was about to jump ship, but I couldn't stand the thought of the man I love going through this alone. He didn't ask for this any more than I did. What ever stress he was putting me through, I know he was dealing with a lot more. I was terrified I would move on and see him homeless one day or that he would die shortly after I left. (Granted, he was not physically abusive and I never felt my life was in danger, nor do we have kids yet. In a violent situation, I believe I would have helped as much as I could from a distance).
We're still working things out, but I can see how much we're growing together through all this. I've made it a point to never ever lie to him. Before I talk to him about serious issues, I weigh my words and choose them carefully. I've made sure I have never gave him a reason not to trust me through all this. Anything I did that he didn't agree with, I told him what was going on, what was about to happen and never broke my word to him. That's been very important to him through this whole process.
Hopefully we're coming out on the other side and things will stay at least as good as they are now. I know there will be other PTSD episodes, but we're getting pretty good at handleing them as a team. We keep building on our trust foundation. We keep encouraging each other. When we have a melt down and get in a fight, we make sure it gets worked out that day and don't give it a chance to fester over night, then we start building on the trust again, building eachother up. We ar taking the cards we were dealt and building a future that we have agreed will be nothing less than happy for both of us.
Submitted to FamilyOfaVet.com by Mrs. K of WV.
Thank you so much, Mrs. K, for sharing your experience and for being an inspiration to the rest of us on Building on the trust foundation.