Friday, April 22, 2011

Am I Alone?

Earlier this evening I received an email from Heather Moates and it really hit a spot with me. How often do we feel alone, even though we know there are others that are facing some of the same battles. It is difficult for people that have never walked in our shoes, or the shoes of a Vet to understand the changes that we face and live through. Heather, you are never alone and always have us by your side!




Just feeling kind of blah today...and a bit like life is passing by me and yes forgotten. Since John's injuries continually got worse and I made a decision to quit work full time to take care of him it feels like life is speeding by me and everyone around me has moved on and I'm stuck in one point of life. I understand it's easier to ignore me by most people because I am a reminder of something no one wants to deal with...my husband is a reminder to people of a stigma that most soldiers and families don't want to deal with or acknowledge. And I get that...if it wasn't my life and I wasn't living it I'm sure I'd be avoiding someone like me also...I can honestly say it hurts like hell...

I do know I'm not alone in the world, especially when it's announced that 100,000+ soldiers are coming home from deployments with PTSD and thousands of others are injured. Yet, I still feel alone...it's like standing in a crowded room and you're screaming for someone to look at you...to see that you're in pain and you're hurting and they just keep walking by...afraid to look you in the eye because that makes then notice someone else...to be drawn into someone else's pain...and we are so involved in our lives that it's hard to do that. And I completely get that...but every once in awhile it would be nice to hear someone say, "Hey, you're not alone"...

Makes me wonder though....am I alone?

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