Sunday, October 18, 2009

The Battle of Emotional & Verbal Abuse (aka How PTSD Effects Our Family)

Received this story from a OIF/OEF Veteran's wife today. Many of us have and are walking in these shoes. Prayers and hugs to us all!

I married my husband before he deployed to Afghanistan. He had already served in Iraq and Katrina aftermath. When he came home from Afghanistan, he was not the same man. He flies into rages, cursing at me like I am a dog. He yells at our daughter for everything. Some days he is his old self...for a little while...But then something small will set him off and he will explode. I have left him and come back. He is mean to me so often I feel that my self esteem is so low. He degrades me and thinks it is funny. He laughs and grabs at my body. He hit our puppy in the face. When I tell him he hurts me he gets angry. Same with our daughter. He leaves marks and denies doing it. I begged him the other day to get treatment for ptsd, he just stood there, coldly looking at me while I cried. He is willing to do marriage counseling but stopped going to his therapist. He is on a med, it isn't helping. His dr. wont change the med...

He has gained a lot of weight and doesn't care about his appearance anymore. I have to ask him to brush his teeth and wear clean clothes. He insults me in front of people and drives recklessly all the time. He flips me off in public, walks off and tells me to "F" myself.

I know he experienced tragedy, but that is no excuse to abuse the people who waited and worried and loved him while hearing nothing during those dangerous missions. I don't know what to do. His best and only friend just moved across the country. They are both out of the army now. My husband plays violent war games and watches the military channel constantly, he always seems absorbed in the war. I feel that I can't get away from the war. If its not that itis gangland on history channel, CSI and gruesome scene from dead body scenes on true crime shows. I sometimes wake in bed to find him asleep and the tv showing a "true crime show" and pictures of stabbed women or shot men. I ask him to change this or turn off...he gets mad and explodes. Calls me a bitch.

No one takes me seriously about this.

I am tired of fighting and being abused and the merry go round. My daughter just woke up screaming w a nightmare about me and him fighting. He always threatens to hit things and told me "hey, feel lucky. It could be worse."

Signed,
A lonely veteran's wife who is tired of fighting these wars....especially at home. My husband is somewhere wandering in the sandbox, I have the shell of what he used to be. And he is blaming me and our daughter for it. Is there help? At all???????