We received this story from the wife of an OIF Veteran yesterday. With her permission, we're sharing it on our blog. We're sharing it for many reasons... mostly, though, that it speaks so strongly to the heart of what so many wives and husbands of our combat Heroes are dealing with.
PTSD at its worst is an cruel beast that can destroy once loving families. That's why it's SO important for all of us who are part of the "new" generation of Veterans and families to work together. Our marriages and families are worth saving... but the only way they will be saved is if we get the help, information, support, and resources we need. NONE of us can fight this beast alone.
If this story sounds familiar to you... or if you and your family are having other struggles for which you can't find help... PLEASE take 10 - 40 minutes and complete our Congressional Survey. The only way to get what we need is to know exactly what's needed!
Here's the story of this Veteran's wife:
Is it PTSD?? Where do I find help??
My husband was deployed in Iraq for 14 months he came home the 2nd week of December, about 4 months ago. I was so ecstatic to have him home after being without him for over a year. He had mood swings while he was deployed and since I was the only one he had the most contact with out of his family I guess I was the one he took most of his stress out on. I have no idea what happened over there, what he saw, or what he did, but I tried to be more than understanding and blame his anger on the situation, telling myself I didn't know what he was going through, but I knew I had to be there for him.
Now that he's home, I feel like I lost my husband in Iraq and this person is a stranger. He doesn't come home after work until late at night, he doesn't talk to me, he doesn't answer my calls and when he is home he is very distant. He often sleeps on the couch and it seems he is uncomfortable being around me or showing affection.
We started marriage counseling about a! month ago, but that has shown little improvement on the situation. In counseling everything seems great and things will work, but once we are home everything stays the same.
I've tried to find help, I've talked to the chaplain, my husband's SGT, our counselor, and anyone I could think of that might be able to help. What I am beginning to understand is that there really isn't significant help for people in our situation and although he is home and healthy and wasn't physically wounded in war, he lost who he was there.
I gave the greatest contribution of my life to this war; the love of my life, and there isn't anyone willing to help me get him back. About 2 weeks ago we hit rock bottom...I couldn't take him lying to me anymore; telling me he was at work late when really he was at his friend's house and when he did come home he busied himself with everything else and distanced himself from family life or any kind of affection or intmacy with me.
After 4 months of being alone, crying, depression, trying to understand but not being abe to I finally told him if things didn't change soon I was going home because I couldn't take the lonliness anymore. He told me to leave....and today here I am...700 miles away from him. I've been home for a week and he wont answer my calls or texts ..it's like he doesn't care that I'm gone...I miss him so much...I want my husband back.
I was searching Google just now for anyone who might be able to help me and I found this site. I don't know if I will find help here or if there is help for my situation, but atleast I found somewhere that I can tell my story and maybe someone can relate. If anyone at all has any suggestions, words of comfort or inspiration, or can just relate and let me know I'm not the only one that feels like my husband died in Iraq and i'm losing control of everything I valued as worth living for contact me at jessdm1223 -at- yahoo -dot- com